What's the WORST 'Fix/Repair' you've ever seen?

[Mel]

I posted a question years ago regarding something bizarre I'd found on my car and asked for thoughts/opinions.  The first, of several replies I got, was from Gunslinger who started off the thread with something on the order of 'Welcome to the world of fixing things others have screwed up.'  So, I was thinking, 'What's the most idiotic 'fix/patch' you've ever seen?'  I'll start it off.

When I first bought my '66 some 16 years ago, the car was off loaded from a semi at 2:00am in a strip mall parking lot.  (The cop who floated through at that moment probably thought that, in that brightly lit setting, it was either legal or more paperwork than he wanted to deal with.)  Anyway, drove it home bucking and kicking all the way.

Quick compression check, all OK.  Carb float levels, accelerator pump OK.  Ignition, start with the easy: points, condenser, cap, rotor, plugs, all basically OK.  Wiring:  On each side, the  plug wires for the front two cylinders was duct taped together, as was the wiring for the back two cylinders.  Needless to say, the seller's report of the engine having been overhauled approx. 500 miles prior to my purchase was met with skepticism but, 15,000 miles later, it's doing OK.

So, again, what's the most idiotic thing you've seen?

[mfg]

This is a fun question!

I don’t know if this could be considered idiotic, but years ago I went to look at a ‘64 Avanti that was for sale locally… The car needed work, however I had definitely seen worse…

What I found strange was the entire disc brake system & the 11” rear drums had been replaced with a complete V8 Hawk/Lark drum brake system… 

I drove the car (the original Avanti brake booster was still in place)

Funny thing is, that Avanti stopped BEAUTIFULLY, with very light pedal pressure!!

[Dwight FitzSimons]

About 30 years ago I purchased a '63 Avanti from its original owner in order to get its R3 engine.  The car looked, and was, tired.  No problem there, but it also had three bone-headed screw-ups done by the seller's garage. (The seller had praised that garage). 

1) The car had been used as a daily driver summer & winter in Cincinnati (an R3 Avanti!), so by the 1980s it needed a new frame.  One was purchased from Avanti Motors and installed.  But the garage drilled the holes in the frame for the rear cross-member about 1/2" too far back.  That set the engine/trans too far back & the accelerator bellcrank (?) rubbed on the firewall, rubbing a notch in the fiberglass.  I re-drilled the holes correctly.

2) The garage had screwed up the wiring for the parking lights so that they worked oddly.  I corrected the wiring.

3) The garage had cut off the flared end of the copper oil pressure line and used a compression fitting to connect it to a rubber hose made for another vehicle.  My brother made an adapter for my flaring tool so that I could flare that tiny tube.  On the second try I got the flare right and installed the correct flexible hose from head to copper line.

There may have been more.

--Dwight

[R3 Forward]

A minor issue but still could not believe somebody did this....  I bought a 63 R2 about 2001, a bit warn but all original.  A previous owner had painted the inside of the engine compartment with a paint brush using a red paint that did not even match the maroon color on the body.  Pretty ugly.  Have done a full restoration installed an R3 clone and everything looks better now.

[Ron Dame]

'63 R2. The left rear axle had stripped threads (how? I dunno) and the axle nut "secured" with red Locktite. Once around the block after I got it running, and the wheel nearly fell off. Thank goodness it was a literal block, because I was 1/2 way around when I knew something was way bad. I replaced the axle and then rebuilt the non-functional rear brakes... front brakes too. Oh, and it had about 3/4" of toe out.

Edited Friday at 08:40 PM by Ron Dame

[R5335]

My first purchase was a 63 Avanti 63R-1220. I knew it needed help but got a real big surprise when I tried to remedy the braking issue. The car had no brakes, I figured this could be an easy fix. Well, first, someone in the past replaced the Front disc brakes with drums? So I removed the drums to install the Turner disc brake setup and there was no hardware! No shoes, no springs, no nothing other than a clogged up rusted wheel cylinders. So decided to check the rear brake drums, dang same thing. Nothing.  This car currently going under a major restoration, engine and transmission at the machine shops currently. The second purchase was a 64 Avanti, R-5335. The car looked Ok until I got underneath and started digging around. Someone tried to turn this R1 into a pseudo R3. First they replaced the steering system with a rack and pinion unit and replaced the suspension with a tubular setup. Turns out the rack and pinion unit interfered with the oil pan. One day trying to figure out why the pan leaks, I noticed a crack. I took a Sharp scrapper and started picking at it and only to find out the entire pan had been coated Bondo to hide the mess. In order to get the pan in, they had cut the pan up into several pieces, brazed it back together and to hide the deed, smothered in Bondo. The brazing job was not very good and had several leaks. Add to that the pan is all banged up I guess in the effort to get the engine in. Then the suspension system is a mess. I'm working this issue now. No way to get caster, camber and toe-in correct. Looks like I'll need shims to straighten this out. As far as the engine, the distributor was a wreck. Some left over Chrysler 1980's electronic unit. I've tried to remove it and replace with a new Petronix but can get the unit out. Something internally keeping it from being pulled up. I've had several folks try and no way. The engine will need to come out to fix this along with the pan. Then, there is a "Spider" gear inside the distributor that has a key to keep it in sync with the distributor shaft. Well, they used a wrong key, it kept falling through. When it did, I'd lose timing and had to retime it. Eventually figured this out and place a proper key in place to hold the spider gear in place.  Finally, the engine runs like a champ but still dealing with the steering/suspension issues and eventually the pan issue. Currently, stopped 99% of the pan leaks with a metal epoxy called Belzona. 

[mfg]

Wow!

[Dwight FitzSimons]

R5335, you are now clearly in the lead for first prize.  Now, let me think; what should the "worst screwed-up Avanti" trophy look like?  Maybe a piston with a hole in it?

--Dwight, R-4228, R-5407